Things I Hate About Facebook

Pretty self-explanatory, I think.



It’s Complicated?
Married one day, divorced the next. These bipolar relationships are always cluttering up my newsfeed. I know teenagers are fickle, but I wish they could just make up their minds. It’s so annoying. Almost enough to make me start singing Avril Lavigne….
Why’d Facebook have to go let people say it’s complicated?
I see the way you’re changin’ your relationship status
Gets me frustrated
Okay, enough of that. Seriously though, I’d like to know why It’s Complicated is even an option.


“Petition Against” Groups
The topics may vary, but the ideas are generally the same. Ignorant users everyone seem to legitimately think that if enough people join their groups (I use the plural here because there is never just one), the Facebook administration will recognize their noble efforts and switch back to “old” Facebook/ give them colored profiles and whatever else they desire. Or maybe they won’t work to satisfy what users are unhappy about and, instead, decide to start charging users or worse- shut down the site entirely! But, if this happens, we’re already safe thanks to the precautionary Save Facebook!/ Don’t Let Them Charge Us for Facebook! groups. These were made by the same intelligent human beings who agreed to legally change their name to McLovin (if 1,000,000 people join!) and need your phone number because they flushed their phone down the toilet….again.

Friends/ Emotions/ Stereotypes Pictures
I cannot tell you how many of these things I’ve been tagged in. If you’re not familiar with this growing trend, let me break it down for you. Basically someone thought it would really cute(?) to take some random cartoon characters, put a ton of them in one picture, and assign little superlatives to each one. One of your friends uploads said picture onto their page, tags thirty of their closest friends, and assigns everyone to things that they, most likely, feel has absolutely nothing to do with them. Then you get all pissed off because you were tagged as some obscure Pokemon and deemed The One Who’s Always Out of Place while some girl you don’t know, but recognize from their People You Might Know Tool, was tagged as Pikachu: The Bubbly One. “Why wasn’t I tagged as Pikuchu?” you ask yourself, “I’m plently bubbly!” And, to make matters worse, you are constantly reminded of this tragic occurrence due to the “_________ made a comment on a photo of you” notifications you continually receive for the next two weeks. Hurray!


You can all rest assured that this will definitely be a recurring segment seeing as Facebook never seems to fail at bringing more annoying things to my attention.


-Chelsea