Lyrics

Lyrics are the fundamentals of the music industry, comprehendable or not, they can either provide inspiration or provoke controversy. They're the heart and soul of shows such as Don't Forget the Lyrics!
If forgotten, they can make or break a contestant's success on American Idol. And, best of all, they supply endless entertainment to needy music-lovers everywhere.
As I was checking my e-mail today, I noticed a headlining Comcast.net Music special feature entitled "Flubbed Lyrics." The picture slide show of varying musical artists contained the song lyrics that were supposedly the 'most confused."
I found it hard to believe this accusation, seeing as I had only heard about half of the songs.
After skimming through the list, I was left unsatisfied. I knew that the provided list only skimmed the service of the music world; which is precisely why I decided to compile my own.


Lollipop – Lil Wayne
I cannot understand the majority of popular rap songs, but this one in particular always gets to me. No matter how many times I’ve listened to this song, I simply do not hear: “Call me so I can make it juicy for you.” I blame my comprehension incapability on the weird static effects used throughout the song, and I’m convinced that is not what he actually says.


Blue – Eiffel 65
Pop Quiz! Remember back to late elementary school when you were:
A) Blue
B) In need of a guy
C) Green, you would die
D) All of the above.
E) None of the above
If you answered E, you’re correct. Heck, if you answered A-D, you’re right too, because honest-to-God no one really knows what the heck Eiffel 65 was on when he (they?) produced this beloved one-hit-wonder. He must’ve OD’d on anti-depressants (I mean, he WAS blue….) and thought that dab a dee dab ba whatever sounded pretty legit.


Nana Lan Theme Song
Nan Lan is this creepy puppet show that aired on Nick Jr. for the longest time. I foolishly thought the show was called Nana Land, for a number of reasons: 1) the theme song was shriek-y and hard to understand 2) the show ended with the puppets sitting on a globe. Globe... Nana Land... makes sense. 3) the show took place at the same location, which I assumed was the land of Nana.
But, silly me, why wouldn’t I assume that the actual word was Lan? Is that supposed to be a name or something? Another common misinterpretation among my friends was Nana Lynn. What a ridiculous assumption! I mean, Lynn? Really? Obviously Lan is much more common.


Roll to Me – Del Amitri
This is one of those songs everyone knows, but doesn’t know. You hear it and recognize from excessive radio play but, at the same time, cannot seem to place a finger on the song’s title or artist.
For those of you who don’t know the song, here’s the music video (I apologize beforehand for the creepy-ness. Mr. Amirtri was probably trippin’ on the same junk as Mr. Eiffel when he made this):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wa1IRGtp9Gw.
For years I thought the lyrics of the song’s opening verse were :
Look around your world pretty baby
Is it everything you hoped it’d be
The wrong guy, the wrong situation
the right time and the wrong me
Recently, upon discovering the song’s title, I came to the realization that I had been wrong all these years! Just like the title, go figure, the words are: the right time to roll to me NOT the right time and the wrong me. Whatever, I like my version better.


Disturbia – Rihanna
I honestly can’t comprehend what she is saying during the majority of the chorus. Especially during the opening lines. Different lyric sites have also contributed to my confusion by providing me with nothing but lies!
I’ve read versions that varied from Put on your pretty lies to Throw on your green light. I’m still not one hundred percent sure, but I think this is correct:
Throw on your break lights
We're in the city of wonder
Ain't gonna play nice
Watch out, you might just go under
Better think twice
Your train of thought will be altered
So if you must falter be wise


If U Seek Amy – Britney Spears
Lastly, to acknowledge Brit Brit’s comeback, I decided to add her latest single to my list. Recent debate has sprung up regarding the song’s titles and its…ahem…double meaning.
At first glance, it appears innocence. She substituted a letter for a word but, no harm done. However, phonetically, if you say the name over and over it apparently sounds suspiciously like something else. I won’t state it here. For the kids. All I’m going to say is that I think that it’s a stretch. A huge stretch. But, whatever, spectators everywhere seem to be listening and clamoring over it.

-Chelsea

TEEF

The first American Idol results show was on last Wednesday. It was a time full of nerves and confusion. Out of the promising contestants to make up the first group, only three passed successfully onto the top twelve. However, it wasn’t the talent- or lack thereof- that made a lasting impression on me; it was the surprise visit from two ex-idol wannabes. But I’m going to cut to the chase. I’m not here to write about their little black-clad reunion on the let’sdrawouttheresultsshowaslongaswecan special. I’m here to write about Carly or, more specifically, Carly’s teeth. Her once demonic smile has transformed entirely thanks to the magic of VENEERS! But this Irish lassie is not alone in her quest to achieve immaculate pearly whiteness. The majority of Hollywood seems to have fallen for this trend. Let’s see some before and after examples of dental magic at its best!

Fellow former Idol contestants, Clay Aiken and Elliot Yamin:

Elliot, I just couldn’t wait for you to fix your teeth!

Tom Cruise

Tom has got cosmetic dentistry down to a science! Scien-tology that is

Rosie O'Donnell

Get a good view of those chompers!

Chip Skylark

Why should he talk to you when he's got 32?

Miley Cyrus

Miley's smile has seen the best of both worlds!

Hilary Duff

Natural smiles are so yesterday!

But the list does not end here! Other popular Veneer wearers include: Oprah Winfrey, Brangelina, Jessica Simpson, Nick Lachey, Bon Jovi, Britney Spears and Denzel Washington. Why celebrities subject themselves to these harsh dental treatments? Maybe Oprah was trying to set an example for women everywhere. Perhaps Nick Lachey wanted to rescue what's left of his career.
The world may never know.

-Chelsea